Projection & Self-Reflection

FACING OURSELVES

We project an identity of self which our peers, family and friends come to know as our true selves. This same persona – our avatar for the world – is how we are perceived by others, but it's often a perception far from reality. 

We never get to know this character, as a lot of this projection is generated to mask our true identity, much of what we put out there, is false and because we rarely take the time for self-reflection, we leave ourselves open for identity crises.

Self Denial

Our defence mechanisms are so powerful, that left unchecked, we could find ourselves living out an existence which is contrary to our truest desires. Relationships, careers and life paths can all be heading us in the wrong direction as the defence programs kick in to steer us away from fear, risk and any perceived harm. Fear of doing the 'wrong thing' or of being an outcast from the group, because our views are contrary to those around us, or fear of failure through taking perceived risks and the potential resulting harm, should our actions be unsuccessful, can result in choosing a life we weren't wishing to live.

We are constantly lying to others, mainly as a way to fit in and avoid confrontation. And the better we are at lying to others, the better we become at self-deceit too. But through allowing more time for self-reflection, we can recognise/acknowledge which of the actions we take, are in fact the decisions of our parents, teachers, our partners or our friends – and not our own. 

Quiet moments for enquiry will put the questions forward for considered thought, which are required states for unlocking our true potential, aspirations and goals. We can then start to define our true selves.

Isolation For Reflection

It's important to take regular time for absolute solitude. Spending moments in isolation, can help evoke sustained periods for self-scrutiny and introspection. It's not often a pleasant exercise, but pushing through these uncomfortable moments – ranging from abject boredom to heavy self-reprimanding bordering on abuse, one can eventually find peace. And it's from this peace of mind, that we can develop.

Yogic practices for self-observation, like the 10-day Vipassana meditation, can help one to connect with the inner, calmer self and stop oneself from focussing on the anxious chatter that we become attached to and identify as the self.

Forced isolation through imprisonment or through other more compliant methods, has helped shake troubled individuals from the false self. The Chinese have state-run boot camps for game-addicted teenagers where tough-love parents drop their children off for rehabilitation. Being locked away for 10 days, with a pencil and paper and no other distractions, can help those wracked with self-identity worries, addictions and neurosis to make notes or a diary of the feelings that arise. Long hikes in the countryside without any mobile phone coverage and just a steady hypnotic pace, can create a meditative state for our true feelings to emerge and this can be the perfect time for self-assessment.

Another way to truly face our demons, and purge the soul of the toxic thoughts and a false-identity, is to take ayahuasca or undergo the Kambo ceremony.

Blame Culture

It's natural to point blame away from ourselves. We are hard-wired to project failings on others and avoid inward reflection of where the cause may lie. It's again about self-preservation and self-denial. Taking blame away from ourselves, and our actions and directing it instead towards others and the resulting situations, is another tool in our self-denial program. 

Rather than admit we are at fault, it is admittedly easier to lay blame on other people. It's difficult to acknowledge our failings, but with practice, writing out a diary, plus through a dedicated, regular and ongoing assessment, we can all benefit from self-reflection, the analysis, adjustments and refinements, to create a more realistic projection of self.